Today I drank coffee in the morning and thought of my life. Yesterday once again there was this feeling. I don’t like it; I try not to even think about it. But it comes. It comes with understanding, that I’m a stranger here.
It happens although I try hard to get accustomed. I try to quickly master the American lifestyle, traditions, everyday life, communication, culture. I’m in a hurry to understand everything that Americans learn throughout their lives. I try to learn everything the sooner the better.
Usually at such moments I come home and roar that I am a stranger here: everything is in English; I do not understand anything! My husband comforts me, tells compliments and reminds gently, “Be careful what you wish for”. I listen to him and calm down. And then, with even greater effort, I keep rushing to figure out my new country.
My life reminds me of a steeplechase. As soon as I overcome one challenge, another appears on the horizon.
….I just got a green card and sighed with relief, and it’s time to look for work. Of course, I’m not used to sit at home and didn’t want to wait 5 years while adapting. I found my first job and realized that I needed a driver’s license to get another job. I got a driver’s license, found another job, learned how to go to the Bank and fill the car with gasoline, and so on. Every day I return home proud with a sense of accomplishment. But I know I have to continue. I need to learn how to cook American dishes, organize time, earn money and much more…
And yet again something happens and there is a feeling that I’m a stranger here.
The last time I didn’t even have time to complain to my husband – I was too busy. Because again I needed to read something, watch a training video, plan a work schedule and write a letter with questions to a friend and certainly discuss it all with my wise husband.
I drank coffee and thought, it’s good that there is no time to dwell on unpleasant feelings. I would call it progress.
I will continue to hurry, stopping periodically to catch my breath and come up with a new subject to study.